Lapdance 101 – Confidence is your best asset !
I grew up with a pretty fucked idea of feminine attractiveness. You know, pretty women are needy women. They’re damsels in distress, like Cinderella and Rapunzel. They’re damaged, like the women in Tori Amos songs, or the Suicide Girls. That’s what makes them so fascinating and addictive, right?
When I started dancing, this was what I tried to portray. I was the fucked up victim. I hated myself. I needed men to save me.
And it sold. I almost sold myself on it, and that was fucked up enough to make me stop dancing for a while.
Eventually I was getting really tired of playing the victim. It was the “you’re beautiful” thing that got to me the most, eventually. You know, where they try to convince you how beautiful you are, as if it goes without saying that you hate yourself and think you’re ugly. But of course they’d think that, that’s the role I was playing.
So I decided to start nipping that in the bud. I figured confidence wasn’t so sexy and probably my earnings would suffer, but I was going to do it anyways. I was nervous when I started. They’d say I was beautiful and I’d say “thanks, I was born that way,” or just, “yeah, I know,” followed by a little giggle so they’d think I was halfway joking.
