I had the following conversation at work the other night with a 30-something dancer who rejects normal stripper-wear for short skirts and jumpers the primark. This has always puzzled me because she sells stripper clothes, so I know she knows how to get them.

Her: I wish the stuff I sell would look good on me, but it never does.
Me: Why not? You’re in good shape, I’m sure it would look better on you than that jumper
Her: I know. Customers can never tell that I work here.
Me: Well you’ve got that long platinum hair and bright pink lipstick, why don’t you wear one of those pink outfits you’ve got for sale? You could totally pull off the barbie look.
Her: But I don’t look like barbie. I’m too old to look like barbie.
Me: Look, customers see what you project.
Her: Huh. You know, you’ve got this crazy stage presence, all the time guys that I’m sitting with look up and say how sexy you look on stage.
Me: See? When I project sexy you don’t notice my pudginess or pale skin or flat ass, cause I’m projecting sexy and that’s what you see.
Her: I always thought you just really liked dancing.
Me: Um, I do, and I also project sexiness so I make lots of money.

This is when I realised: beyond stripping 101 there really isn’t a set formula for making money. Every stripper, every club, and every customer is different.

When projecting your image, think about the details: outfit, jewellery, make up, and the way you carry yourself. Beyond that, I don’t obsess.

Another major element to being happy and making loads of cash is to not engage in situations that make you unhappy. I know it sounds so simple, but very often we don’t even realise that a person or place is bothering us until we’re really really bothered. So tune in and pay attention to yourself. If you’re not happy, leave. Never work at a club you can’t leave, and never feel obligated to sit with a customer you don’t like.

Just in the last month, I have stopped dealing with customers that I didn’t like at all. I used to walk away from them only if they actively offended me or were rude. Now I excuse myself even if they offend me in tiny, barely noticeable ways or if I just don’t click with them. Guess what? My income has gone up even more. Even in a really slow club, where you’d think I shouldn’t turn away any paying customer. I just have that much more positive energy for the customers that I enjoy, and they seem to be compensating me accordingly. I know it sounds counter-intuitive, but so far it’s holding true for me.

If you’re a new dancer, you’re probably spending too much time talking to the customers for free. I can’t say this enough: if you aren’t getting paid after sitting with them for 1-2 songs in a busy club or 2-3 songs in a slow club, move the fuck on. There are two reasons that this usually happens – either you’re not building rapport quickly, or you don’t feel confident enough to close the sale.

Building rapport is usually easy. Smile, have lots of happy energy, and find something that you have in common. It can be as small as wanting to go where they went on holiday summer or a favourite song, or as big as a shared profession. Whatever it is, find it, talk about it, get them talking about it, smile, touch their leg or arm, and ask for a dance. If it hasn’t happened after a couple songs ask for a dance anyway s. Sometimes they will surprise you and say yes, and if they say no you can move on to a paying customer.

If confidence is the problem, you just need to do it anyway. Take any opportunity. If they say you’re pretty, tell them you’re even prettier when you’re dancing for them. Hell, take any chance you get to get a word in edgewise to tell them you want to dance for them right NOW. The more you do it, the more confidence you’ll have, and the more natural it will seem.

Posted on May 21st, 2009 by Chloe  |  No Comments »

I grew up with a pretty fucked idea of feminine attractiveness. You know, pretty women are needy women. They’re damsels in distress, like Cinderella and Rapunzel. They’re damaged, like the women in Tori Amos songs, or the Suicide Girls. That’s what makes them so fascinating and addictive, right?

When I started dancing, this was what I tried to portray. I was the fucked up victim. I hated myself. I needed men to save me.

And it sold. I almost sold myself on it, and that was fucked up enough to make me stop dancing for a while.

Eventually I was getting really tired of playing the victim. It was the “you’re beautiful” thing that got to me the most, eventually. You know, where they try to convince you how beautiful you are, as if it goes without saying that you hate yourself and think you’re ugly. But of course they’d think that, that’s the role I was playing.

So I decided to start nipping that in the bud. I figured confidence wasn’t so sexy and probably my earnings would suffer, but I was going to do it anyways. I was nervous when I started. They’d say I was beautiful and I’d say “thanks, I was born that way,” or just, “yeah, I know,” followed by a little giggle so they’d think I was halfway joking.

Posted on May 21st, 2009 by Chloe  |  1 Comment »